Thursday, February 25, 2016

Socially Awkward

It's difficult being socially awkward.  To have something to say but are afraid to say it because I'm not sure if the person I'm talking to is going to take it the wrong way.  Not because I mean it that way but because the way it sounds in my head is not the way it comes out of my mouth.

Wrong. Wrong.  Wrong.

So then I move to saying nothing at all.  To anyone.  Which makes me look more socially awkward because I'm too shy/bashful to say anything. I don't know what to say because opening my mouth seems to offend everyone.  I avoid social interactions so I don't feel so much like an outcast.  I avoid family because it always seems someone is upset because of something I said even though I didn't mean to upset them.  I was just trying having a conversation.

It's hard as I watch people go out with others while I go home day after day.  To hear of their plans with other friends/acquaintances.  Not that I don't want to spend time with my family.  I don't see my husband nearly enough and my kids are growing too fast.  But sometimes it would be nice to have friends to unwind with after a long hard week.  To have discussions with other women about things your husband wouldn't understand.

Then you wonder about the friends you used to run with or talk to constantly and wonder when you grew apart.  Or wonder how they have the time to go out with others but are too busy to spend time with me.  Was it something I said or did?  I wonder what I've done or said when I see people who used to be my best friends walk circles around me at the store.  Am I that embarrassing?  Have I said something that wrong that you can't even stop to say hello?

Then I see my social awkwardness has rubbed off on my kids.  How one of them struggles when in groups, not sure of what to say or how to say it.  I have no idea how to fix it.  I don't even know where to start.

My plea to you is simply this - don't assume that the quiet person standing off to the side is a strange person.  Consider that they may be socially awkward and try talking to them.  Overlook that they forget to ask you about yourself.  They'll come around.  Give them a chance.  Or two.  Or three.  They just may surprise you.


Stephen Marks said...

Such honesty, wow. I could never lay it all out like that. Wish I were more like you.

ShortyMom said...

It's easy to be transparent when online. It's harder when you're out in the real world.