Am I Speaking a Foreign Language?

Just trying to verify that this is really the English language that I am using here. Anyone who is around kids enough learn that there are times that no matter what you say, they act like you are speaking a completely different language. Tonight is one of those nights. "Take a shower" actually means "sit on your butt and don't stop what you're doing". "Time to come in" means to "stay outside and keep playing". "Turn off the gameboy and go to bed" means to "finish playing the level you're playing or wait until mom totally flips out". "Go to bed" also means to "take your time brushing your teeth, go potty, get a drink as slowly as you possibly can, and then come lay down in the floor so you can play with the dog until mom flips again". So please, if this is not the English language, someone please let me know so that I can learn how to speak their language.