Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Break in the Flow

I'm sitting here right now watching all 5 animals harass each other. Gracie is chasing Callie around the love seat. Zeus gets in the middle of it to stop Gracie. Sophie and Cheech jump on Zeus to keep him away from Gracie. I wish my kids would stand up for each other like that at times.

Tomorrow I have no running to do for the kids. We have no basketball practices, no strings rehearsals, no concerts and no games. I get to let the kids get off the bus, feed them a snack and some supper. I could have a family movie night, a family game night or Wii night and I don't have to worry about where I have to be or what time do I have to be there. The night is all ours. Or mine if I choose.

Today I got Brady and Bryce from ball practice. I fixed a quick supper, gave them fast showers before throwing them in the car and racing across town for their strings Christmas concert. They get there 45 minutes before concert time to warm up for a 30 minute concert. Both the beginning and advanced strings performances lasted thirty minutes. Then I came home, they had a snack and went to bed.

I'm struggling. I'm not struggling with the on the go running. I honestly think I live for watching them do the things they do. Watching them brings tears to my eyes. I'm struggling with other things. I'm fighting with feelings I don't know how to explain. Fighting with a lack of energy to do anything. Struggling with faith. Struggling with health. I got a clean bill of health (as much as I could) in November only to feel like my body is falling apart now. I have so many things in my day to day life I want to change that I don't even know where to start.

So I sleep. I sleep off and on during the night to get up and want to sleep as soon as the kids get on the bus. I sit down in the afternoons and my eyes want to close. Same thing at supper. It's like my rump in a chair is attached to my eyelids closing. And if I'm not sleeping, I'm reading blogs, checking my facebook account or playing Yahtzee on pogo. So much for change. Today I accomplished the most I think I have all week. Three loads of laundry. Folded three loads of laundry. Hemmed Belle's pants so she could wear them tonight. Ironed those pants plus her shirt and Bryce's shirt and pants for tonight's concert. I showered and washed my hair. I dried it. I put on more makeup than I have all week. Tomorrow, my intentions are to put the kids on the bus and take my shower so that I can go grocery shopping. Then I'll come home and hope to have enough energy to accomplish something. But those plans are up for change. Especially if I don't sleep well tonight.

What are your plans for tomorrow?

1 comment:

janjanmom said...

Insist on a thyroid check!! It would explain the tiredness. Very common in women!

I have hypothyroidism and though I am on medication for it, it still somtimes gets the best of me.