Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Addictions and Withdraws
The high winds knocked out my internet.
Words cannot describe the disappoint at hand when I sat down to check the weather radar and found that my connection was no longer connected. I rebooted (knowing it was the local tower that does go out from time to time, especially during high winds). Nothing. I almost did what every addict does when facing a period of time without their crutch. I almost panicked. Almost.
What news am I missing out on? Which GOP candidate stepped down now (and I loathe politics!). Which blog has been updated? Which friend did I miss the opportunity to chat with?
I do realize that my addiction may not rival those such as drugs, alcohol, and nicotine and I didn't suffer physical pain from my withdraws, but my pride was hurt. I know that my complaints are nothing compared to the damage that was done around the area. I said my prayers of thanks when I heard about 26 trucks that were overturned by wind on I-55 in Missouri. Thanks that injuries were few and that my husband was not to be on I-55. I cringed when I heard about the roof coming off the local high schools new football stadium yesterday. The same football stadium that I had driven by minutes before the storms hit because I had to get Bryce from violin practice. The grain silo in Illinois that was shown as a twisted heap of metal on last nights news. So many reports.
Cooler head prevailed. I used my down time to be productive. I made my bed after changing my sheets. I crocheted more squares for my blanket, completed 3 and started a fourth. I worked on one of many crossword puzzle books that are lingering in this house unfinished. I like 5 puzzles completing the book. I read an old TV Guide donated to addicted readers like myself by a dear lady my mom cleans for (she gives them to Mom when she's finished with them and Mom finishes them and passes them along to me). I made plans of what I was going to do today when I got up. The beds that were going to be made, floors vacuumed and swept. Laundry washed and put away.
And even though shortly after I put the kids on the bus my connection was restored, I still completed my list of things that I wanted to do today. But after I took the time to read the news and blogs.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Pessimism is Evil
However.
Much to my husband's dismay he married a realist. I find it very hard to think about the things that *could* happen in the future based on the probability of it actually happening. He may refer to this as pessimism. In my family, it's a trait among the women and I have been cursed with it. Because of this trait, I can turn things that are completely innocent or unintentional into a mood altering event even though I try to be open-minded and see things through the eyes of others.
Today the pessimist won out.
While I'm not going to explain the entire situation, I will say that the trigger and the results are my fault, but I had help (unintentional on the part of the other party) getting from the starting point to a full downward spiral. I managed to hold it together, busying myself with things around the house to keep my mind from going back to other things. Things that linger in the back of my mind, nagging, whispering, screaming tidbits that I know to be true, believe to be true and know deep in my heart to be not true.
While I love having the "freedom" to post things here, things that thrill me, scare me, intrigue me, I find it hard to open up and freely post some things. Things that are deeper than just words on a screen. Things that go beyond my being a mother, a wife, housekeeper, chauffeur. I can only hope that eventually I'll be able to share more. Today is not that day.
Saturday, January 26, 2008
When I'm Your Age
Supper time rolled around and along with potatoes, green beans, and ham, Mom also fixed sauerkraut. Daddy tried to get Brady to taste it. We explained it was cabbage but Brady was having no part of it. Mom asked Daddy if he would eat it when he was Brady's age. So Brady proudly declared "Ok, I'll try it when I'm Papaw's age." Now if I can remember to have him try it in about 50 years.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Standing My Ground
Then there was today. I have not raised my voice today. I have stood my ground when I told the kids to do something. Belle and Brady both had basketball practices this afternoon at different times. I made it clear before we left the house for both practices that they were to take something that they would be sitting down with. The boys took a book for Belle's practice. Bryce read his book while Brady quietly played with one of the other players little sister. For Brady's practice, Bryce took Hot Wheels and Belle took her game boy. When Belle wanted to get up and wander around, I made her sit down. When she started to defy me, I stood my ground until she did what I told her to do. They were all put in bed at 7:30 tonight, so that maybe they would sleep soundly and get up without an argument in the morning. This has been a big accomplishment for me and is something I plan to do tomorrow. If my head doesn't explode from the frustration and pressure of standing my ground.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Forecast Disappointment and the Blues
Yesterday was an in-service day for the schools in this area, but the kids didn't get much time to sleep in. We got up about thirty minutes later than usual to have breakfast with Hubby and drop him off at his truck before time for him to leave. He got to be home a whole twenty-seven hours because he had to work a long week. He's already had notice that this week is another long week, his third consecutive long week. Hmph.
Back to the kids. We are currently right around the time for a full moon. It's either right before, right after or right on time for it and it shows. Yesterday the boys spent a big part of their morning bickering back and forth, constantly getting on each others nerves (and mine) so that all I heard was "MOOOOOOMMMM!!!!"
So I did it. I sat them both on the couch. Side. By. Side. Explained to them that if they argued, touched each other, looked at each other, spoke harshly to each other they would sit there longer. It was the quietest part of the day and I enjoyed the silence. Basked in it's glow. They came to a truce for a short time until it was time to actually compromise and play together.
Now Belle and I have periods of time where she and I just don't get along. It's like a two-woman cat fight. Let me tell ya, I could have let out a screech this morning (and Hubby probably thinks I did). I recently purchased Belle a new package of socks. Nice, pretty, bright white socks. She was told to NOT wear them outside if she was not wearing shoes, and to not step off the trampoline in her sock feet to get her shoes. So this morning we stepped outside to find her "play" coat - read, last years winter coat that she plays in this year - outside. In the wet, rainy, snowy weather where the neighbor child left it after borrowing it yesterday and taking it off. Outside. Soaked. So now I have to wash it. Not only did I find the coat, I found 5 brand new socks in my flower bed. Soaking. Wet. The socks I told her was to not be worn outside without shoes. I have yet to find the missing sixth one. The purpose behind the socks, I figured out later, was that Belle and her friend was "ice skating" on a patch of ice in our back yard. I found out about the ice skating last night when Bryce informed me that Belle didn't have shoes on, to which I loudly called from the kitchen that she better put shoes on. She did. It didn't dawn on me at the time that she was actually in socks. Not one pair of socks. Three pair of socks. I found the three pair that Belle had been wearing just moments ago in the hamper waiting to be washed. So the 5 socks that I found outside this morning? Belle took them off because they got wet. Does this improve my mood with Belle? No. Belle was told more than once to not wear those socks outside without shoes. She chose to do so anyway.
So while part of me was disappointed that the kids didn't get the snow to play in that they wanted, the other part of me was screaming for joy that I could compose myself before they came home this afternoon. Tomorrow is a new and hopefully better day.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Door Knobs and Sledgehammers
Yes, I said trying to get out. The door knob that I had removed from Belle's door during the summer because it had a lock on it was not working. It would turn, but wasn't catching inside the knob to open. So I got a phillips screwdriver and took the knob off, hoping I could find what I needed to in order to open it. I couldn't. So by this time, Brady is still standing in the bathroom, asking how is he going to get out (while keeping his cool I might add, a big accomplishment for him). I told him that he might have to sleep in there and to get in the shower while I kept working on it. The logical thing to do considering he was stuck was to, you know, actually finish taking the shower he was supposed to be taking anyway. Right?
Now things were getting crazy by this point. Belle and Bryce were asking what we were going to do if I couldn't get the door open. So I just calmly told them, knock the door down. Actually this was going to be plan "D", since "A" didn't work, I was in the process of going to get what I needed to execute "B", and "C" was the obvious plan of calling for help. Mainly calling one of the two men who could've fixed my dilemma. Daddy and Little Brother. But I was determined that I was going to fix the problem. By myself. Without assistance from anyone. Yeah.
I marched outside to retrieve a screwdriver from Hubby's tool bag, chants of "Get the Sledgehammer! Get the Sledgehammer!" echoing behind me as Bryce got louder and louder. I came back inside, still hearing remarks about sledgehammers, worked the piece left inside the door down and forced the screwdriver through the door to Brady. I instructed him, "Put that between the door and the wall and pop it open." A technique I learned thanks to many times of watching Brother get past my parents locked door.
Ok I used it a few times myself, but don't tell the kids.
The button clicked and the door came open. I took the last piece out of the door so that it didn't happen again. I bought and replaced the knob this afternoon and have the door back in working order. And I did it all on my own.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Do You Hear It?
wait for it...
7:45pm?
I know. I'm as shocked as you are.
Monday, January 14, 2008
I've Been Quiet
Basketball season has picked back up full force since school started up again, first week of January. Unfortunately, both Belle and Bryce have lost most of their games this season. Even so, I've been very proud of both of them.
Last season, Bryce was not the tallest kid on his team and didn't play the most either. He had never played basketball before and didn't know much about the game. Also, they had a couple of boys on their team that, for the most part, carried the team. Carried them all the way to the tournament where they lost their first game all season in the first round. They were crushed. Bryce played like he was afraid of the ball, afraid of the other teams players, afraid of getting hurt or hurting someone (which explains why we were so excited for him to get his first ever foul called on him). This year, he has really come out of his basketball shell. He is the tallest player on his team, by far. He is usually the player that jumps the ball at the beginning of the game, and he has brought down more rebounds so far this year that he did all of last season. Last season I would have to tell him to hustle, to get to where he was supposed to be. This season, especially the last couple of games and practices, he is actually running hard and cutting of the faster players of the other teams! I never thought I'd see the day where he would stop jogging down the court and actually run hard to stop the ball. Defensively, he's becoming a better player. If I could get him to work on handling the ball at home, he would definitely become a better offensive player.
Belle is not much different from Bryce when going about basketball. She started out this season with very little knowledge of the game even though she went to all of Bryce's games last year. She is switching positions between center and forward. She started out the season the same as Bryce, jogging down the court, afraid of the ball, afraid of the players. This past Friday, she was racing Brady during his little dribblers practice, and was actually running. Running hard. So at Saturday's game, I told her that I want her to run like she had run the night before, that if she could run to race she could run to play ball. She did. Not only did she run harder but she got into the middle of the players and even pulled down a few good rebounds. She made a couple of shots because of those rebounds. Even though she missed her shots, she got to try. Here the last few games, she hasn't seen much of the ball to even get the opportunity to try for a shot. Her coach raved over the team after the game, even though they had lost, they tried their hardest and actually played as a team. Where they had been losing games by 10-20 points, they lost by 3. Their previous games were awkward at best, because they were forgetting they were a team. Coach told Belle and another child how proud he was of them for getting in the middle of things and going for the ball. Another proud moment for us and especially for her! She is no different from Bryce in the fact that she needs more practice time with the ball. She needs to work on her handling of the ball as well (if only they would).
Now Brady as I mentioned is in a program called little dribblers which is for the students that are too young to play little league basketball. This program has them practice a routine during the week that they will perform at two different high school games. It allows them to show off their dribbling skills, walking while dribbling and gives them the chance to shoot the ball at a 10 foot rim (meaning a big part of them will miss) but a hoot to the parents and fans. Their first performance is tomorrow night and they're second and last performance is in February. They practiced up until Christmas break, including a day they didn't have school, the week before Christmas. That same night they had their last practice is the night the little league coaches worked out their schedule for practices after Christmas (little dribblers usually gets what is leftover). When school started back up this semester, parents were never informed about practices for little dribblers. So parents started to worry and call the school's basketball coordinator. She called the little dribblers coach who promptly informed her that he didn't have the time any longer to work with the children because he owns a CPA firm and it's tax season. I understand that, seeing as how I just graduated from jr. college with a focus in accounting but would it have not made more sense to mention that bit of information before he took on the position as coach? The coordinator had to find someone to help take over his position and get a couple of practices in before they went on the floor tomorrow night and not have a clue what they were doing. The bad news? The replacement she called (who also accepted) is the dad of a child on the "team." Dad of the same child who I watched get angry at my son during one of the first practices because Brady did better at a drill they were working on. The same child I just knew was about to hit my child for making him angry. Now he didn't actually hit Brady, but you could tell by his body language that he was thinking about it. This is the same child, that during the last after school practice before Christmas, would not participate in practice, who sat in time out during most of the practice because there was not a parent or grandparent there to make him mind and listen to the coaches. Brady informed me, before we found out about the coach change, that he now finds little dribblers boring. He wants to quit. As much as I wouldn't mind not having to run him to practice every week and have to go sit through the first two quarters of a high school basketball game on a school night (when he should really be in bed) I have told him he needs to finish out the season. I will be there for each and every practice to make sure nothing happens, but even at 7 years old, he needs to accept the fact that if he starts something, he needs to finish it. We'll see how well this goes.
There's been the last few days in a nutshell. I'm hoping this week will be more uneventful.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Accomplishments
Notice the window ledge between the living room and kitchen. Not a thing on it. It has not not had something on it since we bought this house almost four years ago. I'm unsure what to place on it now, for fear of the cat knocking something off of it. I can hear the shatter of beautiful vases and porcelain knick knacks when they hit the floor in my mind. Notice in that picture, the love seat that is void of that pile of laundry. All of it is folded and put away.
My mantle has been clean for a week or so now, since I put away my Christmas decorations. I had my DVD collection lined up across there previously, and I'm really not interested in doing that again. What lies ahead for the mantle is like the window ledge, completely up in the air.
Now my last two pictures speak for themselves. I've mentioned in a previous post my internet addictions, and my desk usually shows that addiction. More often than not, you can not see the dark grey top for the clutter of crap that has accumulated. Bills that have been paid and are waiting for me to file, bills that haven't been paid are waiting for me to write the check and my camera waiting for pictures to be downloaded. Let me tell ya, you would've been terrified of the dust bunnies that went running for cover when I removed the side of my CPU for a cleaning out. It was long overdue.
Now what these pictures do not show are the sheets that I changed yesterday thanks to Brady's soaking his sheets with sweat the night before. I can't change his and not change all of them so all four beds in the house have clean sheets. My living room has been completely dusted. Clutter should be wary, as I'm ready to throw a bunch of crap into the back of Hubby's truck for a trip to the dump.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Baby Yearns
I have three beautiful (I'm not biased, by the way) children (as opposed to teens, toddlers, babies) and they are wonderful. They were born when I was young, long before I realized that I had a biological clock. Now I find myself oohing and aahing over itty, bitty clothes and shoes (did I mention I saw a size 2 sketchers for babies back before Christmas? Too cute!!), and babies themselves. I want one. I need one. I crave one.
This is no surprise to my darling Hubby, who rolls his eyes at me every time we pass a baby rack in Wal-Mart and I stop to point out this adorable little suit just calling my name. He was stunned when Belle was only two months old and I announced I wanted a third child. He was terrified when Brady was born that I would make the same announcement (if only I could have) and I probably would have. But then again, I was severly sleep-deprived the first year after he was born so I may not have.
There are plenty of people who think I'm nuts. I have three, self-sufficient children who are potty-trained, do not use bottles or sippy cups, and who can get up on a no-school morning and fix themselves a pop-tart or a bowl of cereal and eat it without having to wake an adult. There have been plenty of times that I have thought I was nuts for those same reasons. Bryce and Belle are over halfway to being able to drive a car (it's scary to admit that out loud). Brady will be halfway when he has his birthday this fall. Time moves so much faster when you have children, unlike when you are the child and you think you will never be old enough to have a job and a family.
So if any of you out there have a little one, and need a babysitter, break, nap, whatever, give me a call. I'd love to spoil, rock, kiss on, drool all over your little one for a while.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Advantages?
Because of many different variables, my age is often misjudged. I think one of those variables is that Bryce is almost 4'11" to my 5'1". Another one is that Hubby looks a little older than he actually is. I believe I have had one person guess my age within a year of my actual age. More often than not, I am guessed to be a lot younger than I am. Tonight was one of those nights. We made a quick trip to Lowes tonight, owing to a few projects that need to be completed around the house. As soon as we pulled up to a parking spot, Brady announced he needed to potty. Bad. So I grabbed him and walked to the restroom as Hubby got Bryce and Belle out of the car. Our particular Lowes has a restroom right behind the registers, on the front wall next to the exit. So I waited in front of the registers for Brady to come back out. While waiting, the cashier asked how we were doing (Bryce was with me by this point). After we exchanged polite "fine, you?" and responses, she proceeded to ask, "Are you glad to be back in school?" This stumped me for a few different reasons. First is that many people ask parents if they are glad school has started back up again after a vacation. Second is I just graduated from jr. college in May and I couldn't be certain that the cashier was not someone I had met in school. Third was that in the back of my mind I knew she was completely stumped about how old I actually was. When I looked at Bryce and didn't say yes but didn't say no, just kinda made a face, she replied "at least you get to see your friends." Yes, that's right, I'm in high school again. I am not a mother of three with an associates degree, I am a hormonal teen watching over brothers. Am I a junior? A senior? I'm not naive enough to think I could pass for younger. But then again, I didn't think I could be guessed as a high school student any longer either.
Lingering Dreams
At 1 am, I received a call from Belle. She wanted to come home. I didn't ask questions, got directions to the house (I knew who had her and the child's grandmother lives a block over but she was at mom's house, about ten minutes away), and went to wake Bryce. Bryce is not a sound sleeper by any means. He hates the dark and was upset when I told him he couldn't sleep in my bed. As harsh as that sounds, he's ten years old and the last thing I need is a thrashing ten year old as big as I am in my bed. When I went in there to wake him, it didn't take much. He immediately sit up in bed while I explained Belle wanted me to come get her and I needed him to get up. He came down out of his bed, put on the clothes I gave him, all while talking like he had been having a complete conversation with me. A conversation that began in his dreams and I just received the end of it. Walking down the hallway, he proceeded to talk.
"Mom, why are squirrels called squirrels?"
"Ya got me, hun. Get in the car."
Now at the end of our hallway you have two options. You can walk straight into our living room or walk through a doorway into the kitchen leading to the carport. The boy was still so half-asleep, that even though I had told him to get in the car and having him put on his coat, he stilled walked into the middle of the living room and stopped.
"Bryce, car is this way."
"Oh, yeah."
I did manage to get him in the car, where he talked non-stop from the time we left until we got home and him back to bed. Belle is trying to come down with a sinus thing, I think, which led to a stomachache and her wanting to come home. She's missing a basketball game this afternoon in order to start feeling better, hopefully. Now to keep everyone else from catching it.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Unhappy Baby
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Slow Going and Proud Parenting
Back to my original topic though, at one point during my computer time I got up and went to my room. I still had my shoes on where I had driven to my parents house and I went to brush my teeth to get ready for bed. I had Hubby on the phone, left my bedroom, only to step on one of Belle's many headbands. Headbands slide very well across wood floors, almost like roller blades. I went for a ride. I don't remember the events leading up to ending up on the floor but I do remember the stars I saw when my knee hit her bedroom door frame. The frame with 2x4's behind it. The frame that does not give. That frame. Eventually, I managed to get up, limp to the living room and remove my shoes so that I could finish getting ready for bed. I did my night time routine of letting the dogs out, shutting down the computer, checking the locks, and playing tooth fairy (no I hadn't done this yet, the noise of my falling was part of what stirred him before I got there). I changed clothes to find this enormous red mark on my knee cap and thought about the nice bruise I was going to have today. Sleep was not good. When I first laid down, I hit every position possible to find a place that it would stop hurting. Or not even stop hurting but to ease the pain that started when I got in bed. Eventually I just stopped moving and it finally stopped throbbing.
But I was cold. So cold I was literally shivering and my teeth chattering. Even with the electric blanket turned on and up to 2 (which I seldom have it higher than low). Have a fresh injury and a case of the shivers? I don't recommend it. It is very hard to let the rest of your body shiver and keep the injured limb from joining in. I finally dozed off well after 1am until about 3, only to doze again until the alarm went off. The electric blanket I had on 2?? It was what woke me at three when I realized I was starting to suffocate. But I didn't want to risk the pain in my knee so I sweat it out.
This morning I woke to find my knee swollen. It's not a terrible swelling but noticeable. I can walk on it gently, but I will not be doing any squatting any time in the near future. I can bend it just enough to take steps but anymore than that and it throbs. I put the kids on the bus and took a two hour nap, catching up on some that I missed last night.
Bryce also had to start his lunch last night, as he opted to take it today. He asked if he could take a carrot in his lunch, which is perfectly fine, but I told him he couldn't put it in his box until this morning. So I cut it up last night and left it in water so that I could pack it up this morning. He informed me that he was taking carrots instead of cookies today. I'm so proud! Not only did I not have any cookies anyway, but he made a healthy choice and wanted carrots instead. It's enough to make any parents heart swell.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Clarification
Life with Kids and More
Unfortunately, that threw my night completely off. I had Brady in the tub by 6pm. I told Bryce to get in at 6:30 (which led to the teeth brushing and so on.) It was after 8 before I got Belle to take a bath, and it had to be a bath because Brady had a bath. Then Bryce had to have a bath as well. While he was in the tub, I could hear him with a full wicked laugh. I went to the bathroom to get the cat because Zeus loves to play with water, but hates to be in it. Kids in the tub is the same as play time for him. I walk in the bathroom and found the cat in the middle of the floor with a wet tail. He never realizes that his tail is getting wet when it is hanging in the tub while he's sitting on the side. Not only is his tail wet, but he's running around in a circle chasing the darn thing trying to catch it. Bryce is laughing in the tub so hard that he slips backwards in the tub (he was sitting) and fell back into the water. He didn't go under water but that had him laughing that much harder. I finally grabbed the cat so that Bryce would finish his bath.
I have done well with my resolution to keep my patience today. I managed to hold onto it throughout the tooth incident. I didn't get to finish my laundry room though, mainly because I had to finish cleaning up the boys room where we rearranged last night at bed time. I got their room finished, including putting their clothes in their new chest we got last weekend. I did manage to clean off a shelf in my laundry room today, too, and loaded the stuff into a box to be put into the attic so the day is not a total loss. I got through three loads of clothes today, about to start my fourth, and I finished my dishes! I have a bad habit of leaving them in the sink until tomorrow but tonight after supper I loaded the dishwasher and finished washing the ones that wouldn't fit. I'm so proud of myself! I've kept up for two days, let see if I can make it three!
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
A New Look
I've also been thinking about what to do about the kids names (Hubby dreads it when I start thinking about things.) The more I use " " the more I hate it. So I think I'm just going to give them different alias's altogether. Oldest son will now be referred to as Bryce, Daughter will be Belle, and Youngest son will be Brady. I think that way they can be perceived as a real person and not a letter.
We did not do any of the traditional New Years traditions. We didn't cook anything that supposed to bring good luck or prosperity, mainly because not one person in this house will eat it. Hubby will eat turnip greens, Belle and I eat black-eyed peas, and the only way everyone will eat cabbage is in cole slaw. Hubby and I will eat fried cabbage, but honestly that's a pain to make and as for hog jowl, what's that? I may be borderline southern but I'm not that southern. We had our own fun. We introduced the kids to the Karate Kid movies. They only saw the first two but that was more than enough. We picked up a new Life game and spent this evening having family game time and then had taco's for supper. School starts tomorrow so that meant for an early bedtime.
Also, Belle decided a couple of weeks ago that she wanted to rearrange her room. She couldn't wait for Hubby and me to get to it, so she started moving things herself and I helped finish it up. So her new year started out with a "new" room. I took that and ran with it today when I talked Hubby into moving the boys bunk beds to a different wall. They are starting with a "new" room this year.
Hopefully, by the end of the week, I will have straightened up the house. By straightened I mean uncluttered. I have hit the point that I'm tired of the clutter and the mess. I worked a bit today on my laundry room and hope to finish it by tomorrow afternoon.
Did y'all do anything special today? Any yearly traditions you follow through with? I'd love to hear from ya!